Tender Mercies

I haven't been doing as well with scripture reading and "working" my recovery as much as I should be these days.  I could list some reasons why I've been busy but really, I just haven't been making time.  I haven't felt like, so I've been slacking.  This is the attitude I need to avoid.  It's hard enough to fight things as it is...if I slack off too much, it's going to get worse.

Anyways, I was doing some thinking today and my mind wandered to the topic of tender mercies.  Suffering with depression, feeling the spirit can often be difficult, especially in the darkest moments when I need it most.  But I do have things/people/events in my life that remind me that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and is aware of me.  There have been things like texts from my best friend just at the right moment, an email from a friend who's away for the summer that simply says "I was just thinking about you.  Love ya!", etc etc etc.  The #1 thing that serves as a reminder to me is my friendship with my best friend.  The manner in how we became friends is a little random, but looking back at our friendship, it is obvious that Heavenly Father placed us in each other's lives right when we needed each other the most, and were able to be there for each other in a way that no one else could have.  Looking back at some events in my life that happened that caused me to be in this location at this time, have always frustrated me in the past...but it has become beyond obvious there was a reason why going to school in Florida didn't happen like I had dreamt, why my attempts to come back to church weren't successful before my attempt in summer 2010 finally was.  The friendship is constantly a source of tender mercies to me.  I can feel the love and care my best friend has for me, and at times, I can even feel the love my Savior and Heavenly Father have for me through him as well (if that makes sense?).

"But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance."  -1 Nephi 1:20

To go along with that scripture, and one of my favorite quotes about tender mercies, from Elder David A Bednar:

"The Lord's tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strengths, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindness, consolation, support and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. . . .The Lord's tender mercies do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence.  Faithfulness, obedience and humility invite tender mercies into our lives and it is often the Lord's timing that enables us to recognize and treasure these important blessings."

Some time ago, I began writing down tender mercies I witnessed in my life in my journal. I then also use those little post it tags to mark the pages where I recorded a tender mercy, so anytime I need reminding, I can easily turn to a page and be reminded of the things in my life.  I strongly encourage others to do this.  It has been such a great blessing in my life to do so; not just record them, but mark them so you can easily find them.  I urge you to give it a try.  <3

1 week

I am one week "clean" again. Yay!

So in last nights scripture study, I was in 1 Nephi 7, reading about Nephi and Ishmael's family.  Lehi was told by the Lord to send Nephi, Sam, Laman, and Lemuel back to Jerusalem to speak to Ishmael and his family.  While they were all traveling back to the wilderness; Laman, Lemuel, two of the daughters of Ishmael, two of the sons of Ishmael and their families began to rebel.  It is after that that Nephi begins asking them about their testimonies and the things they've experienced:
"How is it that ye are so hard in your hearts, and so blind in your minds?" (vs 8)
"How is it that ye have not hearkened unto the word of the Lord?" (vs 9)
"How is it that ye have forgotten that ye have seen an angel of the Lord?" (vs 10)
"How is it that ye have forgotten what great things the Lord hath done for us?" (vs 11)

I feel like these questions are relevant to me as well, to everyone.  How is it I forget to hearken unto the word of the Lord?  How is it I have forgotten the great things the Lord has done for me?  In my darkest moments, I forget those things.  When I am in a storm of temptation, I forget to pick up my scriptures and instead give in to the temptation.  Instead of holding onto the good things in my life and the things the Lord has blessed me with, I am holding onto my addiction.

After Nephi asks his brothers those things, there's one more thing he asks... (vs 12)  "Yea, and how is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him?  Wherefore, let us be faithful to him."  If it so be that they exercise faith in him.  He then exhorts us; Wherefore, let us be faithful to him.  Let us be faithful, and the Lord is able to all things according to his will.  How often do we forget this?  How often do I forget this?

There's one more thing that happens in their journey back to the wilderness that kind of struck me.  After Nephi said all those things, his brothers got angry and tied him up and wanted to take his life.  Nephi prayed to the Lord to be delivered and the cords were loosed.  He then tried to speak to his brothers again; they tried to take his life again, but they were stopped this time.  One of the daughters of Ishmael, her mother, and one of the sons of Ishmael begged with his brethen, and their hearts were softened, they ceased to try to hurt Nephi and they became sorrowful of their wickedness and began to seek forgiveness.  The first thing that struck me, was what in the world did they possibly say that managed to soften their hearts?  But more than that, what great amount of courage it took for them to stand up to Nephi's brothers?  It amazes me.